What Do You Want
by Kishoto
Summary: There are two sides to this story; her figuring out what she wants and him knowing what he wants. This is a story about how they reconcile that.
1. What Do You Want?

Erina didn't often attend the parties hosted by the rambunctious residents of the Polar Star Dormitory. While she had grown closer to all of them, especially after they'd helped her during their freshman year, she still found herself more than busy between her duties as a food critic, the acting matriarch of the Nakiri family and the Second seat of the Elite Ten Council.

Regardless, she made it a point to show up at least every few weeks, both for her friends and herself. It was a chance for her to maintain relationships with people that didn't bow to her every whim, something she found oddly enjoyable. Especially since it gave her the chance to interact with a certain red head.

Which is why she found herself more than a little despondent to see the red head in question in a corner, completely ignoring her in favor of tongue wrestling with a chesty, purple haired girl. This wasn't something she could've said she ever saw coming, and the shock was more than enough to make her drop her drink.

"Oh! Erina-chan!"

Erina blinked, trying to pull her gaze away from the sight. She felt someone dabbing at her uniform and she started, finally pulling her eyes away from the entwined pair to see Megumi desperately patting at her jacket with some towels.

"Ah…sorry, Megumi-chan. Let me help."

She took a few of the napkins, wiping at the mess she'd made on herself. While she would usually be heavily embarrassed by such an event, she didn't have any room in her head for anything except the odd, crushed feeling she'd gotten when she first saw Soma in the corner with that girl on his lap.

"Is something the matter, Erina-chan?" asked Megumi, finishing up as best she could. Together, they'd gotten out most of the stain, leaving the blue haired girl free to be concerned about what had caused it in the first place.

"N-No!" she denied hotly, resisting the urge to blush. "It's just…well…I was surprised."

"By what?" asked Megumi, eyes panning around the room. Marui was pestering Yuki about cleaning up the mess she'd made with the hors d'oeuvres while Shun was debating the merits of a smoked salmon dish he'd prepared with Ryo. Takumi and Ikumi were talking animatedly back and forth, pointing at a magazine that lied between them, with Hayama observing but saying little. Everything seemed fairly par the course. Except for…

Megumi sighed, rolling her eyes. She walked over to where Soma and Ryoko sat, hands tangled in each other's hair. Her hand darted out, slapping Soma on the head, which startled them both.

"Eep!"

"Oi!"

Soma looked up at his assailant, eyes lidded as he panted, trying to regain his breath. He smiled mischievously at the bluenette.

"Tadokoro-chan, hey."

"Don't 'hey' me, Soma-kun! How many times do I have to lecture you two for being so shameless?"

Soma laughed, scratching the back of his head. Ryoko averted her eyes, her cheeks aflame. She sipped at a cup she held, trying to shrink further into Soma's lap, away from the admonishing gaze of Totsuki's Fourth Seat.

"It's a party, Tadokoro-chan! Lighten up. I wouldn't have a thing to say to YOU if you were off in the corner with Kurokiba."

He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, earning himself a forehead flick in between them.

"Behave! You and Ryoko-chan both have rooms here. It's bad manners to assume that everyone is going to be comfortable with such public displays of affection."

She glanced over pointedly, where Erina still stood, trying and failing to act as if she wasn't eavesdropping. At Megumi's glance, Erina turned away awkwardly, doing her best to seem disinterested. Soma tilted his head, idly running his hand up and down Ryoko's back, the pleasant tingles she was giving off letting him know his treatment was much appreciated.

"We're making Nakiri uncomfortable?"

Soma grinned, putting his hand around Ryoko's waist and bringing her in closer.

"S-Soma-kun!" she said, smacking him lightly on the arm. "You heard Megumi-chan!"

With a laugh, Soma released her, allowing her to stand up and smooth down her rumpled sweater. He stood up as well, slinging his arm around her exposed shoulders. He leaned in to her ear, the next words he said emerging in a whisper

"Fine, fine! I suppose Megumi's right, we do both have rooms here. Not to mention, I wouldn't mind getting a bit more… _comfortable_."

The sheer sultriness he put into the word caused Ryoko to light up like a tomato, glancing around to see if anyone else had heard him. He grinned down at the girl, pleased to see the effects of his statement. He released her shoulders, only to take her hand and start crossing the room, pulling the fermentation mistress along with him.

As they came up to Erina, Soma patted her on the shoulder, causing her to jump. She turned back towards them, struggling to keep the conflicting emotions off of her face. As it were, she still found herself eyeing their interlocked hands with a bit too much intensity.

"Good evening, Yukihira-kun. Sakaki-chan."

"Hey there, Nakiri." He said, the familiar form of address rolling off of his tongue.

"Good evening, Erina-chan." said Ryoko, smiling at the girl.

"Tadokoro-chan was telling me that Ryoko-chan and I were making you a bit uncomfortable?" he asked, causing both of the girls to turn to him in shock at his forthrightness.

"T-That's-" Erina stopped, trying to gather her thoughts. She wasn't sure why she even felt surprised. When it came to being blunt and direct, there was no one quite as adept at it as Yukihira Soma.

"Soma-kun! Don't just bring up something so sensitive." Ryoko chided, bumping him with her elbow.

"No, it's alright Sakaki-chan. Megumi-chan was just being a bit hasty on my behalf." said Erina, looking over at where Megumi had joined in the conversation between Ryo and Shun, her port town knowledge coming to bear as she talked excitedly about the texture of the salmon meat.

"So we weren't making you uncomfortable?" Soma asked, cocking his head at her...

"Of course not!" she snapped, folding her arms. "I was just a bit surprised by your utter lack of decorum Yukihira-kun. You would do well to treat Sakaki-chan with more respect."

Soma smiled, the familiar thorny attitude a relief. He was all for teasing the Nakiri heiress, but that didn't mean he wanted to truly offend one of his close friends. Especially not at a Polar Star party.

"Duly noted, Nakiri. Now, Ryoko-chan, let's go so I can start in on that respectful treatment." He suggested, his tone bringing a blush to both of the girls' faces. Ryoko glared at him for his brazenness but allowed herself to be pulled towards the exit.

"Goodbye Erina-chan. It was nice seeing you."

"See ya later Nakiri!"

As the door closed behind them, Erina's face fell, her haughty veneer cracking as she let the full range of emotions she felt display on her face. Her arms fell to her sides as she stared at the door, suddenly struck by the irrational urge to follow them and…and do what?

Tell Yukihira that she wanted him to stop whatever philandering he was doing with Sakaki immediately? What reason could she possibly give? That every caress he gave Ryoko made her feel like someone was stepping on her chest? That she'd found it hard to breathe when she'd first laid eyes on the pair?

Erina shook her head, trying to mentally will away her self-doubt. She was better than this. Even if she'd long accepted her utterly misplaced feelings for the boy, that didn't mean she would fawn over his every footstep. Instead she turned back to the party, attempting to lose herself in the festivities.

It was only after several cups of the mildly alcoholic rice juice that Erina built up the courage to finally speak her mind, at least a little.

"Megumi-chan?"

Megumi turned away from her conversation with Ryo, her cheeks the bright red of inebriation.

"I just had a question for you…if you're not busy?"

"That's no problem Erina-chan! What is it?"

Erina looked away, her cheeks heated from more than just the alcohol.

"Well, I was just curious. How long have Yukihira-kun and Sakaki-chan been…been…"

She couldn't even bring herself to say it. As if saying it would somehow make it any less real.

"Involved?" Megumi asked lightly.

Erina nodded, thankful that the blue haired girl had picked up on what she'd left unsaid. Megumi looked up, tapping her chin in thought.

"Well, I suppose it would depend on your definition."

"What exactly do you mean?"

Megumi hummed, closing her eyes as she thought of the best way to explain the situation.

"Technically, you could say they've been involved for about three months now."

Erina's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open.

"Yukihira…Yukihira-kun and Sakaki-chan have been dating for that long?!"

Did her voice sound as heartbroken as she felt?

Megumi shook her head, wondering why the girl seemed so worked up over this. It wasn't often Erina seemed so interested in gossip.

"No, Erina-chan. That's not it. Soma-kun and Ryoko-chan aren't dating at all."

Now, instead of distressed, Erina just looked confused. Very confused.

"I…I don't understand. They were _kissing_ right in this room less than an hour ago. Why would they do that if they weren't dating?"

Megumi now felt confused as well, but she saw the look on Erina's face and realized she'd forgotten who she was talking to. This was Nakiri Erina. The same Erina that didn't know how to work a washing machine and found shoujo manga risqué.

"…why are you laughing at me Megumi-chan?"

Megumi wiped her eyes, trying to contain herself and comfort her friend simultaneously.

"No, no Erina-chan. _Gomen_. I'm not laughing at you. I just…I forgot that you aren't very experienced with relationships. So I understand why you may be a little confused."

Erina didn't feel it necessary to point out that she was certainly more than a little confused.

"It's like this. People can be physical with other people without necessarily needing to be in a romantic relationship with them. Now, not everyone is suited for such a thing. For example, I personally believe that things like kissing and intimacy should be done in private, with someone you hold strong romantic feelings for."

"Isn't that just how it's supposed to be?" asked Erina.

Megumi shrugged, spreading her hands.

"It's a personal choice, Erina-chan. Not everyone has the same viewpoint as you or I. Soma-kun and Ryoko-chan are two such people. When I said they've been involved for three months, what I really meant was that, starting sometime around that time, they started having a physical relationship with each other. They've never been an official couple or anything, but it isn't exactly a secret that they're having sex."

"S-s-s-sex? But…that's..." Erina stammered, shocked at her friend's casual mention of something so personal. She would've never pictured Megumi as being someone who could discuss something like that so openly.

Erina wasn't a child. She was more than aware of the "birds and the bees" as it were. Despite its culinary nature, Totsuki academy DID feature mandatory biology courses, of which the reproductive system was a topic. But aside from that, and a few of the racier romantic novels she'd read, Erina was clueless.

She always saw sex as this thing reserved for the privacy of the bed room. Something to be shared with someone you loved and were in a committed relationship with, after an appropriate length of time of course. She knew that there were people who violated these rules, people who had multiple partners and did things like "one night stands" (She'd even heard of there being people that would accept money for it!)

But she'd written those people off as uncouth plebeians. They didn't live in the same world she did, and so she'd spared no thoughts further on them or the subject of sex in general, really. At least until having the realities of such a thing forced into her face by the last person she would've expected to do such a thing.

"So…Megumi-chan…" Erina said, giving up on hiding how red her face was. "Isn't such a thing…wrong? Shameful?"

Megumi tilted her head, looking the form of the Nakiri heiress up and down. She squinted her eyes, as if she was searching for something.

"It's not really about right or wrong, per se, at least not to me. It's about what you choose to do with yourself and other people. I just choose to reserve those sort of things for my private time with Ryo-kun."

She grinned impishly at her last sentence, glancing over at where the baggy eyed chef stood, idly sipping on a cup of rice juice as he spoke in quiet tones with the Smokestack of Totsuki.

"Megumi-chan!" said Erina, scandalized. Such boldness was uncharacteristic of her fellow Elite Ten member. It seemed whatever brew Ryoko had provided them with was more concentrated than usual.

"Erina-chan. In all seriousness though, why do you seem to care so much about what Soma-kun does with Ryoko-chan?"

Erina blanched, waving her hands frantically in denial.

"I don't! It's just…as the first seat, his behavior is simply-"

"Erina-chan." chided Megumi, stepping forward, almost nose to nose with the girl. Erina could smell the alcohol on her breath, or was that from hers?

"You're a really bad liar, Erina-chan. Be honest with me." She demanded, crossing her arms petulantly. Erina gulped, looking around as if trying to escape. Without knowing it, she'd backed herself into a literal corner, trapped on either side by the walls of Marui's room. The only way out was past Megumi, who didn't seem to be willing to back down.

"It's just…I can't…"

Erina didn't even know what she was trying to say. Was she struggling to tell the truth? Was she trying to come up with a convincing lie?

"It's disgusting!" she tried, the falsity of her words apparent.

"And?" pressured Megumi. She had a feeling she knew exactly what had the blonde so bothered. It would explain quite a lot about the blonde's relationship with their fellow Elite Ten member. But it was important that she admit it to herself.

"I don't…it's just not fair." She mumbled, all of her bluster fading in the face of Megumi's unforgiving persistence.

"What's not fair, Erina-chan? It's important that you be truthful with me."

' _And yourself_ ' she thought silently.

"It's not fair that Soma has his hands all over some other girl!" she practically shouted, her voice cracking. Her eyes closed and she felt her shoulders start to shake. This was beneath her. Totsuki's Empress didn't wallow and cry over some boy like a prepubescent girl.

But despite all of her bravado, she definitely felt tears coming down her cheeks. She wiped at her eyes furiously but they kept coming, heedless of her efforts. She felt two slender arms encircle her, and she started to sob, burying her face into Megumi's shoulder.

"Some other girl, huh?" asked Megumi unnecessarily. She wasn't blind. She'd often wondered if there was some deeper meaning behind Erina's contempt for Soma, and now, with that look on her face, she could easily see past the mask Erina had put up for so long.

Megumi waited patiently, stroking the girl's back and murmuring comforting words into her ear. It was several minutes before Erina finally calmed down, her sobs dying off into hiccups as she slowly regained control of herself.

When she finally removed her face from Megumi's shoulder, she found a tissue waiting for her, courtesy of Totsuki's Mistress of Hospitality. She took it and wiped her eyes, feeling her breathing start to return to normal.

"Thank you, Megumi-chan. I'm sorry about your shirt."

She looked down at the patch of moisture she'd left in embarrassment.

"It's fine, Erina-chan." Megumi said, smiling kindly at the girl. "More importantly, what do you intend to do about Soma-kun?"

"I…I don't know. I've never thought…" Erina trailed off, still not sure just what she was trying to say. It seemed she'd been doing that a lot tonight.

"Erina. This isn't some shoujo comic or romance novel." Megumi said seriously, looking into the purple eyes of her friend.

"Soma-kun's not the hero and you're not the damsel. This is real life. Your life. And things don't always just work out on their own because of how you feel."

"Then what can I do?" Erina asked, her heart twisting at Megumi's grim proclamation.

"As I said, this is your life, Erina-chan. It's up to you to decide just what it is that you want."

"I…I want him."

"Him who?" Megumi asked, half teasingly. Erina frowned, looking away from the girl's mischievous yellow eyes. Eyes that reminded her of **his**.

"…Yukihira. I want Yukihira-kun."

"That's all well and good, Erina-chan. But just what exactly do you want from him?" asked Megumi.

"What do you mean?" asked Erina, confusion playing across her features. She would've thought it was obvious what she wanted.

"What I mean is that, it's obvious you have feelings towards Soma-kun. But what resolution are you seeking here? Do you just want to let him know how you feel so you can move on? Do you want to be his girlfriend? Do you want to take Ryoko-chan's place in his bed?"

Erina didn't say anything, turning the question over in her head. She had feelings towards Soma, truly, but what DID she want? Even she couldn't truly say she knew.

"Megumi." said a low, deep voice from across the room. Erina saw her friend's head turn. And all of the pieces in her head, all of the dreadfully unresolved pieces she'd been harboring for so long, all clicked together.

"Just a minute, Ryo-kun. I'll be right there." She said, before turning back to the subject of her attention.

"I want that." Said Erina decisively, a fire behind her eyes where they'd been so dim before.

"Eh?" asked Megumi, blinking. The expression on Erina's face was one of determination. And passion. Where before she'd just been sad and lost. What had caused it to change so quickly?

"Megumi-chan. The way Kurokiba-kun looked at you, and the way you looked at him in turn…it's that. I want that with Soma."

Megumi understood and she smiled, happy that her friend had finally seemed to figure things out.

"You know, I should warn you. There's no guarantee that Soma feels the same way. You could just end up with your heart broken."

"Impossible." stated Erina.

"I-It is?" Megumi asked, surprised.

"Even if Yukihira-kun doesn't feel the same way today, I'll just come back tomorrow. And the next day. I'll make him fall for me."

Megumi could scarcely believe this was the same girl who'd been sobbing and indecisive not five minutes before. She really wished she could believe in her and just send her off to win the first seat's heart as she was, but she needed to be sure that Erina had all of the facts. She refused to let her friend go off unprepared, not to this.

"But what if you never do Erina-chan? What if you try and try, and he never comes around? There IS a point where enough is enough, as they say. What will you do then?"

Erina's confidence wavered, just a bit, but she didn't let that faze her. What her friend was saying was the simple truth. She needed to go into this with both eyes open, she wasn't a child.

"Well, if that happens. If I…if I open my heart to Yukihira-kun and he rejects me, and I can't convince him. Then I suppose I'll have to just live with the fact that I tried my best and pray that I can be happy without him."

It wasn't a perfect answer, not by any means. She knew that if she was actually rejected, she would be crushed. It would be definitive proof that the boy she held in her heart, the one who'd rescued her from her father's bird cage, was forever out of her reach.

But she had faith in herself. Nakiri Erina didn't begin and end with Yukihira Soma, and she had to believe that she would survive his rejection if that's what awaited her, painful as it would be.

Megumi smiled, a bit sadly, and placed her hand on her friend's shoulder.

"Sometimes that's all we can do, Erina-chan. So what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to find Yukihira-kun. And tell him how I feel."

It was after Erina had already marched out of the door and made it halfway down the hallway that she remembered exactly why the strong willed chef wasn't in the room. And she found her resolve paired alongside an equally large amount of nervousness.

She contemplated just turning back to the party. It wasn't as if Soma was going anywhere. She could always just find him tomorrow. But then she thought about just what he was probably doing right now and she felt her urgency double. Even though it had already been going on for weeks and weeks now, she couldn't bear the thought of Soma with another woman. Not until she had some closure at the very least.

It was that thought that took her all the way to Soma's door. She raised her hand to knock, but found her hand trembling. What was she doing here? What would she say? What would HE say? She tried opening her ears, but she couldn't pick up any sounds from inside. Not over the sound of her own heartbeat, anyway.

She raised her hand, searching for the confidence that she'd felt after seeing the way Megumi and Ryo looked at each other. With a deep breath, she knocked, the sound seeming to resound through the hall. She stepped back, fiddling with her hands, trying her best to not hyperventilate as she heard the sounds of muted shuffling inside.

As the knob started to turn, she fought down the urge to just bolt away. Or to come up with some excuse as to why she was here, knocking on his door at eleven o'clock at night.

"Oh. Nakiri? What's up? Did you need something?"

She was staring down at her hands, trying to prepare herself. After a few seconds, she clenched her fists to her sides and looked up at the boy, who took a step back at the intensity of her expression. She went to speak but paused, stunned by the sight before her.

Soma was clearly in bed, or just about to be, based on his attire. He had on no shirt, giving Erina a view of his chest and abs that she had never seen before. The boy wasn't overly muscled or defined but he clearly kept in some sort of shape. All he wore was a pair of pajama pants. Erina could confirm this because they were currently riding low on his hips, giving Erina a clear view of his waistband and its lack of adornment.

Erina found her eyes drawn to the set of muscles outlining his pelvis that formed a V that her eyes could almost follow, straight down to his…to his…

"Like what you see, Nakiri?"

The familiar teasing tone broke her from her reverie and Erina gasped, holding her cheeks as she turned away, trying and failing to calm herself down. She'd had a plan, she'd known what she wanted to say, but Soma and his stupidly prominent abs had knocked each and every coherent thought from her head.

"Nakiri? You alright?"

Stupid, stupid, stupid! Even now Soma was messing things up for her. Why did she fall for such a blockhead?

"I'm fine, Yukihira-kun…I just needed to talk to you, if that's alright?"

God, was that a simper? Erina would've thumped her head on the wall if she wasn't so conscious of the object of her affections standing right behind her.

"Sure, that's no problem. Just give me a minute here."

With a click, he shut his door and Erina sighed, finally feeling like it was safe to turn back around. She could hear some shuffling from inside and she wondered what was going on. After a second of thought, she remembered that Soma had left hand in hand with Ryoko. To get more comfortable…

By the time Soma opened the door again, Erina was beet red and looking anywhere but at him.

"Come on in then, Nakiri."

Erina blinked. He was inviting her inside? But wasn't Ryoko still…

"Are…are you sure, Yukihira-kun?"

Soma nodded, waving off her concern and opening the door wider.

"Sure, it's no problem. Come on."

He left the doorway, walking inside the room. Erina stepped towards the door, her heart pounding. She had hoped to speak to him alone. She didn't particularly relish the thought of baring her innermost feelings in front of the girl Soma was sleeping with, even if that girl was one of her friends.

She needn't have worried though, she soon found out, entering the room and finding that Soma was the only other occupant. She looked around, a bit confused.

"Something the matter?" asked Soma, pulling his chair out and setting it in front of his bed before flopping onto the mattress himself and reclining against the wall. Erina turned to him, intending to ask about Ryoko but found her attention diverted by something else.

"You put on a shirt?"

Indeed. Soma had pulled on one of his long sleeved Yukihira shirts, his body now covered up to Erina's relief (and dismay) Soma looked up at where she stood, putting his hands behind his head as he leaned back further.

"Well, yea. I figured you'd be more comfortable if I was like this. I mean, you seemed nervous enough earlier with me and Ryoko-chan."

At the mention of the girl, Erina couldn't help but ask after her.

"Huh? Ryoko-chan? She's in her room, I think. We split off after we left the party a little while ago."

"And…that's all?" Erina ventured, wishing she could find a more definitive way of asking what she wanted to know.

"What do you mean by all?" asked Soma. After a few seconds though, he grinned wickedly.

" _Ne_ Nakiri. Did you come all this way to gossip? That's so unlike you."

"Of course not!" she snapped. She stomped over, taking the seat in front of him with a hair flick that she'd perfected on the boy over the years. "I am well aware that you and Sakaki-chan have been…doing…. **that**. And I assure you I have no interest in what you do with her."

"Then why'd you come all the way over here to find me?" he asked, tilting his head at her.

Erina faltered, trying to find the words she'd thought up during her walk here from Marui's room. It had seemed so straightforward when she was by herself in the hall but now, she couldn't remember a single part of her carefully constructed confession.

"I…Well, Yukihira-kun. You see, I just…ugh! You are so frustrating!" she lashed out, defaulting to her usual method of dealing with the boy, who seemed even more surprised at her random outburst.

"Is that all? You came into my room to yell at me?"

"Of course I didn't, you moron!"

"Your words and your voice don't exactly match." He pointed out, grinning at the usual look of scorn that it earned him.

"Just…stand up! Right now!"

Soma blinked, caught between following the order out of habit and protesting at taking orders in his own room. Regardless, he stood to his feet, holding his hands out as if to ask 'now what?'

"Turn around."

"Why do you-"

"Just listen to me, Yukihira! For once in your life just do what I say."

Soma shrugged, turning around and facing his wall. After a few seconds of wandering just what had gotten into the girl, he stiffened as two arms wound themselves around his abdomen, settling over his chest. He felt them squeeze him once, as if checking to see if he was still there and he felt the rest of her body follow suit, molding into his back, like a puzzle piece that had figured out just where it wanted to be.

Before he could question what was going on, he heard Erina start to speak.

"Yukihira. I have something to say. But I need you to promise me that you won't say anything until I'm finished. Can you do that?"

Her voice was low and muffled, and he felt the heat of her breath directly over his spine, sending shivers up and down it. His throat felt dry but he still found the wherewithal to say something, even if it was only two simple words.

"Sure, Nakiri."

He could feel her pressed against him, and the deep breath she took did little but press her chest more firmly into his back.

"Yukihira Soma…when I first met you, you were a nuisance. Scratch that, you were a complete pain in the ass that seemed to exist purely to send me to new depths of infuriation. I can say without a doubt that I wanted nothing to do with you from the very first time you mouthed off to me at the transfer exam."

Soma felt the need to defend himself but he refrained, respecting her request that he remain silent.

"I tasted your Transforming Furikake Gohan. And it was delicious. I was blown away. I couldn't believe you'd made something so amazing out of a dish that was so commonplace. I was actually this close to passing you outright, when you just had to go and rub your competence in my face. And I snapped at you, as I always did. I rejected your application. I came very close to losing you because of my own pettiness. Before I'd even gotten the chance to know you."

Soma was more than a little surprised. While he'd always wondered whether Erina had been bluffing, at least a little bit, about the quality of his dish all that time ago, he'd still had a little seed of doubt from that time. A dissatisfied customer wasn't something Yukihira Soma tolerated well.

"Then you were here. And I was seeing you all the time. I'd see you in class. Outside of class. At the training camp. The elections. The festival. It was like you were going out of your way to pester me or I simply just had the worst luck in the world. And then soon after that…my father came back."

Her voice hitched and Soma found himself reaching up to where her hands sat, clasping one of them with his own. He vividly remembered those times, when everything they knew at Totsuki was at stake, for none more so than Erina.

"Everyone…everyone did so much. So many things happened. I thought I'd never be free of him. That I'd always be stuck at his behest. But you changed all that. Everyone here in this dorm helped me, sheltered me. But you…Yukihira-kun…Soma…"

Her hands gripped him even tighter, and he could practically feel the warmth of her gratitude flowing into him.

"You did the most. You went above and beyond for a girl who did nothing but yell at you and insult your talents. Even when I thought it was hopeless, when I'd given up on myself. You never stopped believing in me, even though I'd never given you a reason to. And you…you saved me. _Arigato gozaimasu_ Yukihira Soma."

"You saved me from my father. You saved me from myself, from being the scared little girl that sat at his side. And while I don't know when exactly it started happening, I know that it was soon after that I started falling for you."

Soma froze. Did he just hear those words come from the mouth of Nakiri Erina? The woman set to be the veritable master of the cooking world once they graduated in a few short months? Who'd not a week ago yelled at him for always being late to Elite Ten meetings and passing his work off to Hayama?

"I didn't really know what I was feeling. Not for a long time, anyway. I just found that I couldn't stand being around you. You made me feel so… _strange_. But I couldn't stand being away from you either. I'd make up the dumbest excuses to come by and see if I'd catch a glimpse of you in the halls or in the kitchen. I must've borrowed almost all of Yuki-chan's collection by the time I realized that I was head over heels for you."

"After that, I tried my best to stay away from you. I didn't want to feel this way. I didn't want to…to…"

"Be in love with me." Soma finished, breaking his promise to stay silent. Erina didn't scold him for his violation, she merely nodded, the motion pronounced against his back.

"Why?" he asked, gripping the hand he held.

"Yukihira-kun…please, you promised to-"

"I know what I said, Nakiri." He said, cutting her off. He pulled at her hands, turning around faster than she could've anticipated until they were facing each other. He gripped her shoulders and leaned in, their noses almost touching, and she saw anger in his eyes. And hurt.

"Was it because I was a commoner? A simple diner chef not fit for someone as high class as you?"

Erina blinked, surprised. She'd never seen Soma react like this.

"Yukihira-kun…It's wasn't that. I just-"

"Don't lie to me." He snapped, cutting her off again, his voice sharp and biting. The expression on his face gave new meaning to the term "spitting fire".

Needless to say, Erina was shocked. She'd never seen the chef so furious, not even during some of his worst shokugekis.

"You couldn't stand the thought of actually caring about someone so far beneath your station, could you? Even after what we went through, what I did for you, all you could see was your own pretty little mansion with your butlers and private cars. There wasn't any room for me in your little perfect bubble."

His voice was resentful and angry. His attitude spoke of feelings that he'd held in reserve for much longer than a single night. Was this not the first time such a thing had crossed his mind? That Erina would disregard him for something as pointless as birth status?

"You're wrong, Yukihira-kun."

He released her shoulders, stepping back and staring down into the eyes of Totsuki's Empress. Their purple gaze was hypnotizing, and he found that he couldn't look away from them, no matter how he tried. He felt his anger drain away as swiftly as it had come about in the first place.

"You think I didn't want to love you because you weren't worthy of me. But the truth is that I didn't want to love you because I didn't deserve to."

Soma's jaw dropped and he found himself, for the first time in quite a while, utterly and completely stunned. She, Nakiri Erina, the almost literal goddess of the culinary world didn't deserve to love **him**? The idea was ludicrous.

Erina stepped forward, reaching her hands up to cradle his face. She ran her fingers over the sides of his profile, smoothing his hair back and out of his eyes. Her hands were trembling and her face felt like it was about to burst into flame, but she refused to back down here.

"You stopped being a common diner chef to me a long time ago Soma-kun. If there was anyone worthy of me in this world, it would be you. But who was I to ask you to love me? The girl you'd had to save from her own father, the girl who treated you like dirt and laughed at the thought of you getting expelled? I didn't deserve your love. I still don't."

She cupped his face, bringing hers even closer to it, staring into those pools of molten gold that Soma called eyes.

"I think some part of me hoped that things would change one day. That I'd accomplish something that would make you recognize me, something that would give me the freedom to tell you how I felt without feeling as if I was flying too close to the sun. But that never happened and tonight…"

"I saw you with Sakaki-chan. And I just…I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. Like someone had taken my heart, pulled it from my chest and locked it back into that lonely little cage. I felt like you were well and truly out of my reach forever. I probably would've burst into tears on the spot if Megumi-chan hadn't been so quick to explain to me just what kind of relationship the two of you had. And, after speaking with her, I realized that even if that was the case tonight, who could say what would happen tomorrow? Maybe you'd find feelings for Sakaki-chan, or for some other girl that wasn't…that wasn't me."

Erina brought her face further towards him, their noses now barely grazing one other. As she spoke, Soma could feel her warm breath glazing over his lips.

"So I decided that enough was enough. That even if I didn't deserve to, I would ask you. I would tell you how I felt and I would ask you for your love in return."

Erina closed her eyes, her arms going around Soma's neck. As she spoke her next words, her lips ghosted over his.

"So…Yukihira-kun…Soma…what do you say?"

She waited, expectant. This was it. She'd said what needed to be said and now it was up to Soma to accept her. Or reject her. Seconds passed and she felt his lips open against hers.

"You can't ask me for something you already have, Erina."

His words were barely a whisper but the kiss he gave her was anything but quiet. He leaned in, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her towards him, their bodies fitting together as if they were made for each other. Erina felt his tongue probe at hers, as if requesting permission, before she enthusiastically granted it, pulling Soma even closer as she tangled one of her hands in his long red locks.

The kiss was full of years of repressed tension and passion. It was fire and electricity and warmth. Erina felt as if she could lose herself in it. In him. She felt her body growing warm, in places she wasn't used to, but she welcomed the unfamiliar feeling, moaning into Soma's mouth as she felt her legs grow weak.

Before they could buckle beneath her, Soma's grip at her waist tightened and he broke their kiss, staring down at her with eyes dark and lidded.

"Erina…"

"Soma…"

Their eyes met and Erina found herself wanting to…to…to what?!

With a gasp, she put her hands on Soma's chest and pushed against it with what feeble strength she could muster. If he'd wanted to keep hold of her, there was no way she could break his grip but he released her, staring down at her as they both panted, cheeks equally flushed.

"We…we can't do this, Soma-kun!" she said, her eyes looking anywhere but at him.

"I have firm evidence to the contrary, Erina-chan." He countered, his eyes roaming over her flushed figure in a way that made her want to just stop talking and let him do what he wanted with her.

"No. Not…I mean…just let me focus for a second! There's some things we need to clear up."

Erina stepped away, fighting the voice in her head that told her she was an idiot for taking even one step that wasn't in Soma's direction right now. She closed her eyes, breathing in and out, trying to calm down, if even just enough to say what she needed to say.

"Soma-kun. I love you. Deeply and truly. But I…I've never felt this way about anyone before or been in a situation like this so I don't really know how to say…that is, I would really appreciate it if you would…if you could just…"

"Let me guess. You'd like me to stop seeing Ryoko-chan?"

Erina nodded, hoping she didn't seem too eager.

"I know that may be selfish of me to ask. Especially since I'm not…the most experienced in these sorts of matters. And I'm not exactly ready for things to go too quickly. And I really want this to work, but I'm scared you'll get sick of me since I don't know a thing about romance or dating or when it's a good time to invite you over versus when it's not, and I-"

Soma cut off her rant with a kiss. A kiss that left Erina speechless. His arms snaked out and encircled her, pulling her into his chest as she blushed, burying her face into the dark fabric of his shirt.

"Erina-chan. It's fine. What Ryoko and I do…did…was something we did for fun. We agreed from the start that if either of us found someone that we wanted to get involved with, we would stop outright. And I'm sure she would approve of my current choice." He added cheekily, running his hand through her hair.

"Alright then. Good." said Erina, hoping Soma couldn't tell just how relieved she was by his answer. The last thing she would want to do is start off their relationship by being some stereotypical jealous harpy.

"But then, does that mean you're willing to take her place?" Soma teased, leaning in to nip at the girl's ear. Erina squeaked and batted at the boy's face, eliciting a laugh from him.

"Soma-kun! That's…it's much too soon!"

Or at least she thought so. It was, wasn't it? Then again, she had read a few novels where the couple had ended up being intimate on the night of the romantic confession…was that what Soma wanted? Was that what was expected of her in this situation?

"Actually...if it's Soma-kun, then it's alright…" mumbled Erina, reaching up with shaking fingers to loosen her tie. Before she could get there, she found her hand stopped by Soma who looked down at her with a mixture of mirth and compassion.

"I can assure you, Erina-chan. Despite my earlier enthusiasm, we're not sleeping together. At least not tonight." He amended hastily at the crestfallen look on her face.

"I'm not rushing anything with you. We've both waited over two years for this. If we're going to do this, we're going to do it right."

Erina looked up at him, at the confident grin she'd grown so familiar with over the years, and she smiled. Her eyes closed and her cheeks ached with the force of her smile. She leaned in and pecked him on the cheek, giggling at the way it made him blush and grin back at her.

She leaned in to rest her head on his chest, wrapping her arms around him tightly and listening to his heart beat strongly in his chest.

 _Thump…Thump…Thump…_

It may have just been her imagination, but she would've sworn that it was beating on time with hers.


	2. What He Wants

The first time Soma and Ryoko had sex, it had been a surprise to the both of them.

It had been a typical night of Polar Star shenanigans, late into their second semester as third years. Everyone had collapsed in one corner or the other of Marui's room with the rosy cheeks and exhausted countenances that were a signature of both Ryoko's fermentation talents and the enthusiasm of the dormitory's residents. One by one, each student fell asleep, with a lucky few claiming what space there was on Marui's bed. The bespectacled boy would've protested but he'd been the first to fall asleep, his head lolling back from where he sat in his desk chair.

Soma had found he was the only one awake and, rather than continuing to party alone, he started making his way back to his room. As he walked down the hall though, he paused. He could hear something faintly; just barely on the edge of his hearing.

Following the errant sound led Soma to the third floor balcony, where Ryoko stood alone, looking out at the night sky. She was singing a popular childhood song, one he'd heard often in his youth, but never quite like how Ryoko made it sound. He told her just that and, before she could respond, continued to tell her that he'd never heard someone so terribly screw up the melody and beat of a song quite like she did.

After Soma's laughter and Ryoko's anger had faded, he found himself holding the girl in his arms from where he'd grabbed her to try and prevent her playful punches from landing. She was giggling as well, her anger more than spent and Soma noticed that, while her singing left much to be desired, her laugh was amazing. And he told her this as well, evoking a much more positive reaction than his previous comment.

He also noticed she felt really, really warm against him and he found himself suddenly struck by both her beauty and the fact that she was giving him a look he couldn't quite describe. That was when he also took note of how her breasts were almost flush against his chest and her cheeks were bright red in a way that had nothing to do with the alcohol they'd been drinking.

He felt a heat begin to pool in his stomach and, without thinking about it further, he leaned in and kissed her.

One kiss turned into two, which turned into many. Hands roamed freely, clothes were divested and whispers of consent were exchanged in a heated, hurried fashion. The chill of the night was overtaken by the warmth they found in each other, the stars the only witness to their coupling under the open sky.

When it was all over, Soma found himself flat on the cool stone, with Ryoko's form flush against his side. He was panting, sweat covering his form and he could hear the rapid breathing of the girl at his side. A haphazard pile of their respective clothing served as a thin, impromptu mattress beneath them.

Soma looked down at Ryoko, who was looking up at him.

"So…that was…something." he said softly, almost whispering.

"Yea. Something." she responded.

They both paused before bursting into laughter. Hearing Ryoko laugh only served to make Soma recall just what had set him off in the first place and he impulsively kissed the purple haired girl again. She responded to him fervently and it was several minutes before anymore words were exchanged between them. Minutes filled with rapid, passionate movement along with Ryoko's sweet voice, which only served to rile Soma up even further. Further conversation was yet again forestalled as he nuzzled her neck, bringing her back into a carnal embrace.

It was after the third time that they both collapsed into the pile of clothing, utterly spent. Soma's red hair was dampened by sweat, his bangs pasted across his forehead. Ryoko had her own, long hair slung into a messy ponytail she'd only just manage to do with one hand and a rubber band to keep it out of their way.

"Ok. That. Yea. **That** was definitely something, Ryoko-chan." said Soma, smiling at her. She laughed again in response.

"To say the least. You're an animal, Soma-kun." she purred, grinning up at him.

Soma grinned unashamedly.

"Guilty as charged."

They continued laughing and talking to each other like they'd never really done before; their spontaneous physical intimacy opening up the flood channels for intimacy of an emotional kind. They'd known each other for so long but had never really taken the opportunity to really get to know each other.

They talked about their families; Soma learnt that Ryoko was the oldest of three siblings and that she loved going home for the holidays to visit them. Ryoko learn that Soma was an only child and that his mom had passed away when he was really young.

They discussed who they thought had the best chance of dethroning Soma from his title as First Seat. Soma's opinion was that no one short of Senzaemon-sama himself could. Ryoko pointed out that there he'd lost and won back his seat three times in this semester alone.

They talked about how Ryoko planned to take a leading role in her family's fermentation business once she graduated. She would be the first Totsuki alumnus in the Sakaki lineage and the prestige from that alone would propel their company to new plateaus.

They found out that neither of them were each other's first.

Soma's first time had been with Ikumi in what would prove to be a whirlwind, ultimately doomed romance that had lasted almost the entirety of summer break in between second and third year.

Ryoko's had been with Isshiki Satoshi, the night before he'd graduated. Ryoko had had a crush on the older student for a while and it had finally culminated in what had been a single, amazing night. They'd both agreed that it would be for the best if things didn't advance beyond there.

With the proverbial ice broken, they continued discussing their romantic histories, out of a sense of mutual curiosity and comfortable intimacy. Ryoko was a naturally open person, and had no trouble opening up to Soma, considering how far they'd already progressed. Soma was more than happy to return the favour, never one to keep his thoughts to himself.

Ryoko told Soma about how, despite their mature conversation and the mutuality of their agreement, getting over Satoshi hadn't been as easy as she'd hoped and those misplaced feelings had led to her having a brief, secret sexual relationship with Takumi that had ended up doing nothing but hurting him and leaving her feeling guilty and hollow once the dust settled.

He'd wanted something that she couldn't honestly give him. They'd started seeing each other after a shokugeki they'd had and, after their second date, Ryoko had all but dragged Takumi back to her room. She'd been trying to use him to fill a hole left by their eccentric senpai but she hadn't even realized it until weeks later, when she saw Satoshi for the first time since the night they'd spent together.

He'd come to Totsuki to visit on a day trip in from Tokyo. Ryoko had taken one look at him and she knew what she had to do if she wanted to be true to herself and fair to Takumi. She tried to end things peacefully but Takumi was raw and hurt. Things had degenerated into a fight that ended with the two of them shouting at each other before Ryoko had stormed off in a huff.

She still felt bad about what she'd done but she'd never had the courage to revisit the issue and Takumi seemed content to leave things as they were, though he was noticeably cooler to her and made it a point to leave any room she entered now.

Soma told Ryoko about how his situation with Ikumi had begun for similar reasons; misplaced affections. He'd known that Ikumi had liked him for a while but he'd never confronted her about it. He didn't feel the same way and didn't know how to tell her that without breaking her heart, so he simply promised himself that he would never lead her on. But, when she finally confessed to him, he was vulnerable and selfish enough to go back on his word. Because she'd had the bad luck of catching him soon after what Soma called the worst day of his life.

" _Hey Nakiri, I hear your cousin started dating that freshman that's been chasing after her all year."_

 _Erina arched an eyebrow at Soma, who was grinning at her from across the council table. They were the only two students present; the rest of the council had left after the dismissal of the meeting but it seemed Soma hadn't taken his leave as of yet._

" _Is that so? I believe Alice mentioned something but I admit I thought she was joking."_

 _Soma shook his head._

" _Nope, it's confirmed. The news is all over campus. The fifth seat of the Elite Ten dating a first year's pretty scandalous news, apparently."_

 _Erina continued looking over the papers spread out before her; not responding to Soma's comment initially. When she did, her words took Soma by surprise._

" _That simply won't do. I suppose I should have a talk with her then."_

 _Soma blinked in response, tilting his head at the girl._

" _A talk? What are you going to do, warn her away from the guy?" he asked, chuckling._

" _If need be, yes. She needs to be aware of just what she's doing. Someone of her standing should be more cautious of who she romantically associates with." she said._

 _Soma's laughter died at Erina's completely serious statement; his smile fell and he simply looked at the girl calmly. He felt his heart begin to drop in his chest, as Erina continued speaking, oblivious to his slowly building turmoil._

" _It wouldn't do for people to get the wrong idea. Alice associating with just anyone is out of the question. She needs someone worthy of her. I wouldn't want her doing something stupid for just any boy off of the street. She needs to be more discerning than that."_

 _Soma felt his heart continue to sink and he licked his suddenly dry lips. He opened his mouth to speak._

" _I don't get it. Do you have a problem with the guy or something?" he asked._

 _Erina paused in her perusal of the papers before her. She leaned back, tapping her chin in thought._

" _To be honest, I can't say. I don't know much about him. But what I do know is that Alice is a Nakiri."_

 _Her eyes settled on Soma and she gave him a haughty smirk._

" _Nakiris don't associate with those beneath them."_

 _In his head, Soma knew she was referring to Alice's fledgling relationship. He knew this. He knew she was talking about Alice's boyfriend and not him. He'd never so much as hinted at his feelings towards the girl after all. But he couldn't help but feel, in his heart, that Erina's words were directed straight at him. After all, Erina had made it no secret that she saw Soma as beneath her, time and time again._

 _Through the filter of his emotions, Erina's prideful smile had taken on a cruel edge and her words felt like they were biting in a way they never had been. For the first time, he thought he could see a glimpse of Erina's father in her._

" _I would settle for nothing less than the most illustrious of partners; a fine man worthy of standing beside me."_

 _Her words seemed to be crushing, heart breaking and despairingly final, all at the same time._

 _Before he knew it, Soma had gotten to his feet._

" _Same as always, eh Nakiri?" he said, smiling in an attempt to hide the pain he knew would show on his face otherwise. "I'll be seeing you around."_

 _Soma turned and walked away, ignoring Erina's querying pleas behind him. He felt the blood pounding in his ears and he fought to keep the emotion he felt in his chest buried deep, just as he did with his feelings for the Totsuki Empress. He should've known. Erina was the crown jewel of the culinary world; the cream of the crop. Her family was more powerful than some small countries and the influence they wielded in Japan alone was the stuff of noble fantasy._

 _Against that? He was nothing. And Soma had always known that but the fact had never bothered him before._

 _But things had changed._

 _He didn't even know when exactly he figured out that he was in love with her. Not surprising, considering he'd never really bothered with love or romance or anything like that. His only mistress was the kitchen. So when he suddenly found more and more of his thoughts taken up by Nakiri Erina, he'd had no idea what to do. His dad had been as helpful as he usually was._

 _("Just be confident and cook her something really delicious; it's how I got together with your mom back in the day!")_

 _And he hadn't been able to turn to any of his friends, for fear of the news getting out. The only person he'd deigned to speak to about it was Mayumi, his childhood friend, but she'd had little to say on the matter. She'd even gotten mad at him and refused to speak with him about it further, calling him disrespectful and oblivious. He'd apologized, even though he had no idea what for, and left the matter there._

 _Eventually, he decided to just keep quiet and see where things led. He made it a point to spend as much time with her as he could, which was a challenge considering her busy schedule. He hassled her for tastings and stayed late to assist her after council meetings; the marked change was noted by almost everyone around him but the girl in question._

 _He didn't despair and assumed his efforts would yield some sort of fruit after some time. He wasn't in a rush. But weeks turned into months. And months turned into a semester. And then two. And now third year had started and he felt like he was exactly where he'd started with Erina since they'd gotten Central to disband over a year earlier._

 _The news about Alice had been simply idle gossip; an excuse to sit in the same room alone with Erina for a few extra minutes. But what he'd gotten had been much more than he'd bargained for. Nakiri Erina wanted- no, she deserved - the best of the best. And Soma knew that wasn't him. The Yukihiras weren't company CEOs or distinguished families with decades of pedigree behind them. They were diner people. From the Sumiredori shopping district. They sold 500 yen meals to make a living._

 _For all the important people he'd met and opulence he'd been exposed to in his time at Totsuki, not once had he ever felt the slightest bit insecure about who he was and where he came from. He'd stayed in hotels beyond compare; eaten food that cost more in one bite than he could spend in a week and interacted with people that would go on to be the pillars in Japanese society. Soma hadn't cared; he'd known exactly who he was and he revelled in it._

 _But now, for the first time in his life, Soma wished he was something more than just the next in line to run a special-of-the-day diner. And that thought filled him with a combination of guilt and self-loathing that almost physically hurt. The very thought of what his dad would say…of what his mom would say if she could hear him…it made him tear up and, for the first time since she'd passed away, Soma shed tears._

 _When Ikumi approached him a few days later, stuttering and blushing like he'd never seen, Soma knew what was coming. He knew what she was going to say and he knew he should say no. Even if he hadn't actually been rejected, he knew he was rebounding just as hard as someone that had been, and Ikumi deserved better than that. She deserved to be better than second fiddle. He needed to tell her no, here and now, so she could move on and find someone who could put her first and Soma opened his mouth to tell her just that._

 _But the denial got stuck in his throat and he'd found his arms wrapped around the dark skinned girl before he even realized what he was doing, his mouth on hers as she eagerly reciprocated._

 _The weeks of summer break that followed were both enlightening and depressing for the two of them, in more ways than one. Soma found that it was possible to grow to love someone and that it was possible to love two people at the same time. But he also found that it was impossible to love them both equally and the one you loved most would always win out; no matter how much you tried._

 _No amount of time spent on dates, on the phone or in the bedroom could allow Ikumi to take anything more than second place and it took weeks for Soma to work up the courage to tell her that. She didn't believe him; she was persistent and it took a further set of even more painful weeks for the both of them to finally accept the facts for what they were. Weeks spent of fighting and talking and lovemaking and fighting and crying and fighting._

 _The relationship ended much more amicably than it had any right to and they had both decided to remain friends afterwards. But he also didn't refer to her as "Nikumi" anymore either._

"Wow. I never even knew." said Ryoko thoughtfully. "You hid it really well; I had some idea that Ikumi was upset about something after the summer break but she told us it was a family matter. I would've never guessed it had anything to do with you. You were the same as always."

"Yeah." said Soma with a touch of melancholy. "I've got some experience with hiding how I feel."

Ryoko leaned up onto her elbow, looking over at Soma. The red headed boy was looking up at the sky and the look on his face told her that his mind was far away.

"So. You like Erina-chii. Like…a lot." she said simply.

Soma turned his head to face her and sighed. He felt his face open up in a way he rarely allowed to happen anymore.

"Yea. I do."

Ryoko brushed a lock of hair from her eyes, gazing into Soma's. She saw the depth of his feelings there; the way he felt and the pain it was causing him were both apparent on his face. The simple shift made Soma look years older than he actually was. Ryoko sighed for him. No one should look so haunted so young.

"Just so you know, it's generally not good form to talk about another woman while you're in bed." she said lightly. Her smile took the sting out of her words and it was worth the small grin she coaxed out of him. "Luckily for you, I'm really understanding. Although, this now raises an important question, Soma-kun. What exactly was this then?"

Soma didn't respond immediately. He thought back to when he'd first stepped out onto the balcony and needled Ryoko; the softness of her skin and the warmth of her body as they laughed together with her in his arms. The fiery, all-encompassing, passionate heat that had been their union and the warm glow he felt even now as they laid together on the cool stone.

It had been an amazing experience; one he would never forget and one that had brought him closer to Ryoko than he ever thought he would be, in more ways than one.

But this wasn't love. He had some inkling of what love was and knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that it wasn't this.

"This was…fun?" he said, asking himself as much as asking Ryoko. The sharp pinch he received from her made him yelp and he rubbed his side, mock glaring at her. She quirked an eyebrow at him sceptically.

"Is that really the best answer you've got, Soma-kun?" she asked flatly, narrowing her eyes at him.

Soma shrugged, still rubbing at the spot she'd pinched. He didn't respond immediately but he shrugged again when he finally did.

"Kinda. Yea."

At that, Ryoko deflated, wiping her forehead with one hand.

"Ok, good. That's a relief."

"Huh?" said Soma, thoroughly confused by the sudden shift in the girl's emotions.

"I just wanted to confirm that this really was as simple for you as it was for me." said Ryoko.

She sat up, draping Soma's shirt over her and shivering slightly at the loss in body heat.

"I mean…we definitely had a moment. You laughed; I laughed and something clicked. Like magic. Really, really **hot** magic. And before I knew it, I just really wanted to tear your clothes off."

"I know the feeling." he said, grinning at her.

"So that's all this was right? Harmless fun?" she insisted.

Soma scratched the back of his head, sitting up as well. He found himself yawning as the late night and physical exertion started to catch up to him.

"I wouldn't say harmless. My back's probably really scratched up from how you shoved me up against the wall." he said, grinning impetuously at her.

Ryoko rolled her eyes again, not rising to Soma's bait. Her expression remained focused.

"I'm serious, Soma-kun. Are there any feelings here? At all?" she asked.

Soma paused, honestly considering the question. He asked himself what that would be like; a relationship with Sakaki Ryoko. Dinners, holding hands, star gazing, festivals. Eventually leading to them moving in together, getting married. Maybe even having a few kids.

He tried to picture himself doing all of that with Ryoko and he found not a single spark there. Not one single shred of desire to do any of that with the busty, purple haired girl. But when he thought of even a few of those things in relation to a certain Nakiri heiress…

Soma took a deep breath, holding the air in for a few seconds before releasing it in his largest sigh of the night.

"Nope. Not a single bit."

And Soma found that he meant that. He liked Ryoko; she was sweet and fun and one of his close friends. And the sex had been out of this world. But there wasn't a single part of him that wanted to actually date her. To date anyone, really, besides a certain someone with honey coloured hair and violet eyes.

"Great. So how do we move on from here?" asked Ryoko as she groped around for her clothes and began the arduous task of getting dressed.

Soma watched her step around the open aired balcony, completely nude and found himself unable to focus on her question until she'd managed to shimmy into the pants she'd been wearing. And even then he couldn't give her a straight answer until she turned her back on him.

"Stop drooling, Soma-kun." she admonished, searching for the remainder of her clothes with an arm now clasped firmly across her chest, depriving Soma of what had once been a very distracting sight. "Answer the question."

"Oh?" said Soma, roused from his idle voyeurism by the tone in Ryoko's voice. He scratched idly at the bridge of his nose. "Um…from here? I don't know; same as we were before? If that's okay with you, I guess?"

"You don't want to keep having sex?" asked Ryoko, her back still to him. She'd found her bra and was stubbornly attempting to do the clasp on it. Soma got to his feet, walking over and shooing her hands out of the way. With an ease that honestly surprised her, he had her bra done up in a few short seconds.

"I mean…sure?" said Soma, considering the thought and finding it exciting in a way that had nothing to do with romance. "Do you want to?"

"Well, yea." said Ryoko simply, slipping her orange, long sleeved shirt over her head. "I had a great time tonight; I'm hoping you did too?"

"I think I made it pretty clear I did." said Soma, grinning at her. He still stood naked, entirely unashamed.

"So we can keep doing this then." said Ryoko, slipping on her shoes. "We'll just need some ground rules. First one's pretty clear I think; if either of us start developing feelings, we immediately communicate that to the other, agreed?"

"Definitely." said Soma, thinking back to what had come of his relationship with Ikumi. He wasn't going to hurt any of his friends again; not like that. "Also, if either of us starts dating someone, we stop immediately. Alright?"

"Fair." said Ryoko, leaning back on the railing. She refused to acknowledge the fact that Soma was still standing there naked as the day he was born. "Rule three: we don't need to keep this a secret but I also don't want you bragging about me to the world, alright? I know how you boys can get; be classy, Soma-kun."

"When am I not classy, Ryoko-chan?" he asked teasingly.

Ryoko gave him a pointed look, her eyes glancing down and then back up to his face in a deliberate motion.

"Whatever you say, Soma-kun. I think that's all I've got. Can you think of anything else?"

"Nah." said Soma breezily. "But we can always change it down the line right? This isn't a contract or anything."

"Right. Exactly. That being said, I'm more than a little tired right now and I'll be heading in. I'm assuming you're not going to walk around the dorm like that? People will think you're cosplaying as Isshiki-senpai." she said.

"Nah. You can go ahead. I want to be out here for a few minutes more." said Soma, turning to face the forested grounds of Polar Star.

"Alright then. Night Soma-kun."

Soma jumped, startled as he felt a sharp pinch on his ass. He heard the tinkling of Ryoko's laughter as she walked inside and he grinned to himself, looking out at the stars. He felt better than he had in a long time.

After that began an interesting series of months at Totsuki for Soma and Ryoko. Like agreed, they didn't exactly go out of their way to make their relationship a secret and, apart from some light hearted ribbing, the rest of the dorm's members seemed to take the change in their dynamic in stride, not counting the heated interrogation they'd both received from their respective genders behind closed doors of course.

Ryoko assured Yuki and Megumi that they were being safe and Soma told the guys that he couldn't give them any dirty details but his sly smile and wink were enough to have Daigo and Shoji lift him up onto their shoulders, cheering.

It wouldn't be until months later that something occurred to shift the dynamic in Soma's relationship with Ryoko.

They were at a Polar Star party, hosted once again in Marui's room and he'd stolen away into a corner with Ryoko, stealthily checking to ensure that Megumi was good and distracted. She was really the only one proper enough to chastise them for what he planned to engage in.

It was only after several minutes of heated kissing that he found himself struck on the head. The strike jolted Ryoko, causing their teeth to click together in a decidedly jarring fashion.

"Eep!" she said, startled.

"Oi!" cried Soma. He looked up with half lidded eyes, trying to catch his breath. He was met with the stern face of Tadokoro Megumi. He smiled mischievously up at her.

"Tadokoro-chan, hey." he said casually.

"Don't 'hey' me, Soma-kun! How many times do I have to lecture you two for being so shameless?" she asked.

Soma laughed at the contrition in her tone, more than used to it. He felt Ryoko shrink against him, which only made him laugh more.

"It's a party, Tadokoro-chan! Lighten up. I wouldn't have a thing to say to YOU if you were off in the corner with Kurokiba."

He waggled his eyebrows suggestively and earned a sharp flick between them for his trouble, causing him to hiss and lean his head back.

"Behave! You and Ryoko-chan both have rooms here. It's bad manners to assume that everyone is going to be comfortable with such public displays of affection." said Megumi hotly. Soma saw her eyes move deliberately and he looked and saw someone he didn't expect to see staring straight at him.

Nakiri Erina.

The girl he was head over heels for, even while he had another girl in his lap. He resisted the urge to suddenly shift Ryoko off of him and move far away from her. He had nothing to hide and he certainly wasn't ashamed of her or what they were doing. He wouldn't disrespect Ryoko over a stupidly misplaced sense of guilt.

Erina turned away dismissively, uninterested. Soma tilted his head at the girl's side profile, struck by her beauty. It had been weeks since he'd seen her and the absence had done nothing to ease his feelings. He felt them stir in response and it was only when Ryoko shivered involuntarily, in that distinct manner she had, that he realized he'd been running his hand up and down her back. He pulled his fingers away; it felt wrong to have his touch on her fuelled by his feelings for someone else.

"We're making Nakiri uncomfortable?" he asked, trying to distract himself. He only belatedly realized that talking about Erina wasn't the way to distract himself from focusing on her. He put his hand around Ryoko's waist, bringing her in closer as he grinned, hiding his longing for the God's Tongue behind his practiced smile. The simple warmth of Ryoko's body was comforting to him in a way that had nothing to do with sex, although the way she shivered again made him realize that it didn't necessarily mean his grip wasn't doing anything for her. He knew how she liked being held, after all.

"S-Soma-kun!" she said, smacking him lightly on the arm. "You heard Megumi-chan!"

With a forced laugh, Soma released her, allowing her to stand up and smooth down her rumpled sweater. He stood up as well, slinging his arm around her exposed shoulders, eagerly seeking out the warm comfort that was Sakaki Ryoko. He leaned in to her ear, the next words he said emerging in a whisper, a perfect excuse for his actions.

"Fine, fine! I suppose Megumi's right, we do both have rooms here. Not to mention, I wouldn't mind getting a bit more…comfortable."

He knew how Ryoko would interpret what he said and the way she lit up like a tomato confirmed that he'd been right. She glanced around surreptitiously before looking back at him and nodding, ever so slightly. Soma grinned, honestly this time and he released her shoulders, taking her hand in his and squeezing firmly before pulling her alongside him.

As they began to pass where Erina stood, Soma found his hand reaching out, almost unconsciously and, before he could stop it, it came to rest on Erina's shoulder. He withdrew it quickly, wondering if he could somehow brush past her and escape, but the damage had already been done. Erina turned to face them, a stern, cool look on her face. He saw the way her eyes glanced at where he was holding Ryoko's hand and he resisted the urge to tighten his grip at the small frown that appeared on her lips.

She'd probably heard about their relationship and thought it undignified and distasteful. He wouldn't be surprised. He felt that sense of guilt try to take hold of him but he clamped down on it, much like he clamped down on Ryoko's hand in his. He refused to let it bother him.

"Good evening, Yukihira-kun. Sakaki-chan."

Even her voice sounded disapproving.

"Hey there, Nakiri." He said, the familiar form of address rolling off of his tongue with a casualness he didn't feel. After all, he hadn't even planned to see her tonight, let alone speak to her. Why did the urge to reach out and catch her attention hit him now, of all times? He silently cursed his weakness.

"Good evening, Erina-chan." said Ryoko, smiling at the girl.

The look Erina gave Ryoko wasn't one Soma could quite place but he knew he didn't like it. What right did she have to be so judgemental of him? Of Ryoko? Two people she supposedly called friends? He resisted the impulse to yell just that and instead found himself saying something else.

"Tadokoro-chan was telling me that Ryoko-chan and I were making you a bit uncomfortable?" he asked directly. He saw both of the girls turn to him in shock at his forthrightness but he didn't let it faze him. A familiar mix of anger, longing and bitterness was roiling in his stomach.

' _There. Go ahead, Nakiri. Tell us what you really think; judge us from that tower you've claimed all for yourself with no room at the top for anyone else.'_

"T-That's-" Erina stopped speaking, trying to gather her thoughts. Soma assumed she was trying to find some way to make her criticisms known without being overly insensitive. And just like that; he felt the anger he'd been feeling abruptly drain away, leaving only a familiar sense of adoration in its place. Adoration borne of an unrequited love.

"Soma-kun! Don't just bring up something so sensitive." Ryoko chided, bumping him with her elbow. The contact helped to bring him out of his own head and he remembered to keep the impetuous grin locked onto his face. If he dropped it, he ran the risk of Erina seeing something she shouldn't hiding right behind his open, golden eyes.

"No, it's alright Sakaki-chan. Megumi-chan was just being a bit hasty on my behalf." said Erina, glancing over at where Megumi had joined in the conversation between Ryo and Shun. Any momentary lapse in her demeanour had promptly passed and she looked back at the both of them with her usual, dignified stare.

"So we weren't making you uncomfortable?" Soma asked, cocking his head at her. He should've known; Tadokoro was just being herself; what had he been thinking? Why would Erina care what he got up to?

"Of course not!" she snapped, folding her arms. The rebuke in her tone was all too clear. "I was just a bit surprised by your utter lack of decorum Yukihira-kun. You would do well to treat Sakaki-chan with more respect."

Soma smiled, the familiar thorny attitude a relief rather than a deterrent. So that's what it was. She wasn't judging them. She simply felt that there was a time and place for it and thought he was being his usual brash, inconsiderate self. And she wasn't quite wrong about that. He felt guilty for doubting her. Erina had come a long way and he should've given her more credit. She still cared about them; about **him** , even if it wasn't quite in the way he wanted. He shouldn't allow his feelings to make him jump to conclusions like that.

"Duly noted, Nakiri. Now, Ryoko-chan, let's go so I can start in on that respectful treatment." He suggested, his tone bringing a blush to both of the girls' faces. He grinned, pleased at the reaction. Teasing Erina never lost its value, even now. Ryoko glared at him for his brazen attitude but she allowed herself to be pulled towards the exit by his insistent hand.

"Goodbye Erina-chan. It was nice seeing you."

"See ya later Nakiri!" he called back, both sad and relieved that he was leaving her presence.

As the door closed behind them, Soma let out a sigh, even as he continued to pull Ryoko alongside him. He didn't stop until he'd made it to the open air balcony on the third floor; the one they'd both jokingly dubbed "their" balcony.

Soma released Ryoko's hand and he stepped to the railing, leaning over and setting his arms onto it. His head thumped down atop them and he groaned. He felt warm arms come to wrap around his back and he sighed as Ryoko hugged him; a hug that was simple comfort and warmth; there was no hint at any sort of amorous desire and Soma was glad for that. It was the kind of hug he needed and he knew she could tell.

"So I'm guessing we're not up here for a repeat of last week?" she asked lightly, teasingly.

Soma laughed, thinking back to that time. They'd thought everyone was asleep and had stolen out to the balcony for their own particular brand of alone time. Marui had walked in on what must have been a sight that was two parts wonderful and one part disturbing for the intelligent young man.

"Nah. Not tonight. The mood's gone." he said. He didn't need to explain why that was.

Ryoko hummed in acknowledgement and continued to hug him, not saying anything. Eventually he turned around and reciprocated, holding her against him in his arms, his nose pressed deeply into her hair. It was long minutes before either of them spoke.

"I really think you should tell Erina-chii how you feel, Soma-kun." said Ryoko. She felt his warm breath against her hair as he sighed.

"We've been over this, Ryoko-chan." he said tiredly, dejectedly.

"I know. And we wouldn't have to keep going over it if you'd just listen to me." she said. "How can you know she won't feel the same way?"

Soma resisted the urge to tell her that he just did. He resisted the urge to go back over the many times in the past year he'd searched for any inkling that Erina felt the same way that he did. Overlong glances; affectionate caresses to the shoulder; promptly doing any Council duties she assigned to him. He invited her to hang out; to cook with him; to do homework. He'd tried everything he could think of to get her to spend time with him.

She would constantly turn him down; not maliciously but not overly warmly either. She'd cite her duties as the Nakiri heiress or a food critic as her reasons for turning him down. But then he'd turn around and find her poring over manga with Yuki in her room or giving Shun feedback on his newest smoking technique. He'd once even found her helping Megumi tend the tomato plants; she'd looked more than a little awkward in her borrowed apron and gloves.

It was bizarre and more than a little hurtful. If Soma didn't know better, he would say Erina was going out of her way to spend time with everyone in Polar Star but him. But he knew he was probably just imagining things; that didn't make any sense after all.

"I just couldn't take it if she said no, Ryoko-chan." he said, instead of offering the veritable mountain of evidence he'd compiled in his head. "This way, at least I can have some hope."

"What good is hope if you never move to realize your dreams, Soma-kun?" she asked sadly. She really felt for the Yukihira chef. Their time together had only brought them closer and Ryoko found that she hurt for him when he got like this; dejection wasn't a mood that suited a man like Yukihira Soma.

"I don't know." he answered honestly.

"Don't you think it's worth finding out?" asked Ryoko, just as honestly.

Soma didn't speak up right away in response to her. He drew back and looked down at her, and the look in his eyes made Ryoko want to cry for him. It was a look of utter resignation; of defeat. Soma, the man she'd seen fight against the entirety of Totsuki's corrupt administration without flinching, had given up. He'd been defeated by the one thing he was unable to match with sheer determination; the one enemy he had no defence against. His own feelings.

"Night, Ryoko." he said, leaning forward and kissing her soundly on her forehead. He released her from his arms, moving past her and into the Polar Star Dormitory. He made his way to his room in a daze, idly noting that he could still hear the sounds of celebration coming from Marui's room as he walked by.

Opening his door, Soma walked in, heading for the sink. He splashed some water on his face, the brisk cold serving to help shock him into some form of clarity. He changed into his usual sleep wear, a simple pair of pajama pants and nothing else, before throwing himself down on top of the bed, slipping under the comforter. He could still hear the distant sounds of celebration coming from down the hall and the quiet thumping was just beginning to lull him to sleep when he heard a knock at the door.

Who could that be? It was almost eleven o'clock.

Soma kicked the comforter, yawning as he stretched, moving towards his door. He opened the door, prepared to offer a greeting but froze when he saw just who was standing there.

Nakiri Erina.

She had her hands held close to her stomach and was fiddling with them in a way he'd never seen her do before. Her shoulders were lowered and he couldn't see her eyes past her blonde bangs, as she seemed to be staring straight down at her feet.

Soma began to speak, wondering if she could hear him over the sound of his heart thudding away in his chest.

"Oh. Nakiri? What's up? Did you need something?"

He hoped he'd managed to sound casual and genuine; he hoped none of the sudden anxiety caused by her appearance was audible in his voice. He closed his mouth, doing his best to marshal his emotions as best he could. He simply wasn't ready for this; he wasn't ready to deal with her. Not tonight.

So he did what he could to pretend. He shoved his feelings into the back of his head, a manoeuvre he was well practiced at when it came to the blonde haired young woman, and felt the familiar guise of the carefree, impulsive Yukihira Soma settle over him. It was a paper thin façade and he knew it but he hoped it would stand up to her scrutiny; it had to.

Erina looked up at him and opened her mouth to speak but she froze. Soma noted that her eyes were locked firmly on his bare torso and he felt himself smirk involuntarily, doing his best to stay in character especially as her eyes began to track lower and lower. She must've been caught completely off guard. He figured she didn't often see shirtless men. It was understandable.

"Like what you see, Nakiri?"

There. That was exactly the kind of thing Soma would've said to Erina if he wasn't so distracted by being in love with her.

Erina still didn't respond and Soma briefly wondered if she was really that offended by his body. He wasn't exactly an athlete but he took some pride in it and the thought that she may be staring at it because she was actually horrified wormed its way into his head.

The idea took root firmly, helped by the sense of inadequacy Soma felt lately whenever he was around his second seat. It didn't help that Erina promptly turned around, refusing to even look at him.

"Nakiri? You alright?"

'Are you really that turned off by how I look?' was the question Soma didn't have the heart to voice.

"I'm fine, Yukihira-kun…I just needed to talk to you, if that's alright?"

The hesitant tone in her voice, out of place considering how confident the girl usually was, cemented the feeling in Soma's head. She didn't like looking at him; the sight of him was actually enough to make her visibly uncomfortable.

He cursed himself mentally, wondering if he could somehow slip inside and into a shirt without her noticing. He decided that no, he couldn't.

"Sure, that's no problem. Just give me a minute here." he said, softly shutting the door. He sprang into action, rummaging around in his closet for a clean shirt and yanking it on over his head. He kicked the few bits of debris he had lying around under his bed and smoothed out the covers, neatly placing his pillow at the end.

He looked around frantically, wondering if there was anything else out of order. Finding nothing, he took a few deep breaths, working to keep his mask in place before opening the door.

He found himself faced with a red faced Erina that refused to meet his eye.

"Come on in then, Nakiri." he said, gesturing for her to enter before he could give himself time to reconsider.

"Are…are you sure, Yukihira-kun?" she asked.

Soma nodded, opening the door even further.

"Sure, it's no problem. Come on."

He walked inside, hearing the girl enter and shut the door behind her. He heard her stop moving and he turned to face her as he pulled the chair from his desk out for her. She was looking around his room, an expression of confusion on her face.

"Something the matter?" asked Soma, now confused as well. He took a seat on the mattress, flopping backwards onto it and reclining against the wall. Erina turned to face him but she visibly paused.

"You put on a shirt?"

Ah, so she **had** been offended by his body before. The small, impromptu confirmation settled onto his chest like a lead weight but pushing past it was easy, considering all of the other weight that was already there. He leaned back, threading his hands together behind his head as he composed a suitable reply.

"Well, yea. I figured you'd be more comfortable if I was like this. I mean, you seemed nervous enough earlier with me and Ryoko-chan."

There. That was a good reason. Considerate without being overt about it. The simple concern of a friend to another friend.

"Oh, speaking of which, where exactly is she?" asked Erina. The tone in her voice confused Soma but not more than her actual query did. Where else would Ryoko be?

"Huh? Ryoko-chan? She's in her room, I think. We split off after we left the party a little while ago." said Soma.

"And…that's all?" Erina asked. Her tone was still odd and somewhat jarring to Soma; he'd never heard Erina like this before.

"What do you mean by all?" asked Soma. After a few seconds though, he grinned wickedly. There was no way right? This was Nakiri Erina, Totsuki's Princess. But all the signs seemed to point straight to…

"Ne Nakiri. Did you come all this way to gossip? That's so unlike you." he replied, grinning honestly at the way her face shifted to that fluster she sometimes adopted when he guessed correctly and saw through the front she put up. It was an expression he'd come to cherish; an honest, human side of the girl. A side he didn't get to see as often as he would've liked anymore.

"Of course not!" she snapped. She stomped over, taking the seat in front of him with a hair flick that Soma could've recognized with his eyes closed. "I am well aware that you and Sakaki-chan have been…doing…. **that**. And I assure you I have no interest in what you do with her."

"Then why'd you come all the way over here to find me?" he asked, tilting his head at her, honestly curious. It wasn't every day Erina sought him out of her own volition.

Erina paused, her expression guarded. He couldn't tell what was going through her head, not that he ever really could, but she seemed especially closed off right now. As she began to speak, Soma began paying close attention, hoping to get a glimpse into her mental state.

"I…Well, Yukihira-kun. You see, I just…ugh! You are so frustrating!" she lashed out, the flash of temper taking Soma completely by surprise. Was she mad at him? For what?

"Is that all? You came into my room to yell at me?" he asked sincerely, tilting his heard at her.

"Of course I didn't, you moron!" she snapped again, her volume not matching up with her words. When he pointed that out, he grinned, expecting another snappy retort as she glared at him with a familiar look of scorn. Verbal sparring with Erina never got old.

"Just…stand up! Right now!"

Soma blinked, caught between following the order out of habit and protesting at taking orders in his own room. Regardless, he stood to his feet, holding his hands out. He wondered; what was she going to do? Hit him?

"Turn around." she ordered, her arms folded. Soma blinked, now simply confused beyond belief.

"Why do you-"

"Just listen to me, Yukihira! For once in your life just do what I say." she said, gritting her teeth. Her frustrated tone was nothing new to Soma, he'd been on the receiving end of it for years, but he usually had at least some idea as to why, for all that he acted so obliviously.

He shrugged, turning around and facing his wall. After a few seconds of wandering just what had gotten into the girl, he stiffened as two arms wound themselves around his abdomen, settling over his chest. He felt them squeeze him once, and he gasped as he felt the rest of her body follow suit, moulding into his back, in a mirror to what Ryoko had down earlier that night. The heat and emotion Erina's grip evoked, however, were of an entirely different nature and intensity.

Sparks danced up his body from the ends of his feet to the tips of his spiky, red hair. Soma resisted the urge to move; to tremble; seized by a sudden, irrational fear that moving would somehow cause whatever this was to end. Before he could question what was going on, not that he was sure he even wanted to, Erina began to speak.

"Yukihira. I have something to say. But I need you to promise me that you won't say anything until I'm finished. Can you do that?"

Her voice was low and muffled, and he could feel the heat of her breath directly over his spine. It sent shivers straight up and down along it. His throat felt dry but he still found the wherewithal to say something, even if it was only two simple words.

"Sure, Nakiri."

What else could he say? He had no idea what was happening; he just knew that he'd do whatever it took to stay right here in these arms for as long as he possibly could. He didn't care why. He just knew he was where he belonged. He could feel her pressed against him, and the deep breath she took did little but press her chest more firmly into his back and Soma resisted the urge to gasp as he felt her breasts press push against him. His cheeks grew bright red and, if asked to speak, he knew he would've stuttered helplessly.

"Yukihira Soma…when I first met you, you were a nuisance. Scratch that, you were a complete pain in the ass that seemed to exist purely to send me to new depths of infuriation. I can say without a doubt that I wanted nothing to do with you from the very first time you mouthed off to me at the transfer exam."

Erina's voice was low and quiet, her tone holding no rebuke, despite her harsh words. Soma felt the need to defend himself but he refrained, respecting her request that he remain silent.

"I tasted your Transforming Furikake Gohan. And it was delicious. I was blown away. I couldn't believe you'd made something so amazing out of a dish that was so commonplace. I was actually this close to passing you outright, when you just had to go and rub your competence in my face. And I snapped at you, as I always did. I rejected your application. I came very close to losing you because of my own pettiness. Before I'd even gotten the chance to know you."

Soma was more than a little surprised. And pleased. While he'd always wondered whether Erina had been bluffing, at least a little bit, about the quality of his dish all that time ago, he'd still had a little seed of doubt from that time. A dissatisfied customer wasn't something Yukihira Soma tolerated well. And that was even more so when the dissatisfaction in question came from her. The girl he loved.

"Then you were here. And I was seeing you all the time. I'd see you in class. Outside of class. At the training camp. The elections. The festival. It was like you were going out of your way to pester me or I simply just had the worst luck in the world. And then soon after that…my father came back."

Her voice hitched and Soma found himself reaching up to where her hands sat, clasping one of them with his own. He vividly remembered those times, when everything they knew at Totsuki was at stake, for none more so than Erina. There were so many times when he thought he'd lost. Lost his friends. Lost Polar Star. Lost **her**. He'd fought every step of the way. And then, when it all came to a head and he'd won, he'd exulted as he watched Azami be escorted off of Totsuki campus for the first and last time. He'd been the one to find Erina, huddled in the throne her father had built for her in the Central Administration building, borderline catatonic from the additional rounds of "treatment" he'd subjected her to.

He'd checked on her every day at the hospital as she worked day in and day out with the best team of psychiatrists and therapists money could buy. He rarely interacted with her; it was a delicate time and he'd been advised against it by the medical professionals there. But he'd come every day; sometimes just to stand at her bedside as she slept. He'd even taken her hand once or twice but had quickly withdrawn, afraid of waking her up.

She didn't often speak about the time she'd spent recovering from her father's abuse and he'd never told her about the dozens of times he'd visited her. He was content to let her think that the weekly stops he did with the Polar Star gang had been all. He didn't want her to think he was some pathetic stalker.

"Everyone…everyone did so much. So many things happened. I thought I'd never be free of him. That I'd always be stuck at his behest. But you changed all that. Everyone here in this dorm helped me, sheltered me. But you…Yukihira-kun…Soma…"

Honest emotion laced her words. Sōma felt her hands grip him even tighter and he could practically feel the warmth of her gratitude flowing into him. The sincere, heartfelt thankfulness took him off guard. He knew she appreciated what they'd done, what he'd done, but he'd never seen her so vulnerable and forward with her emotions. Not like this.

"You did the most. You went above and beyond for a girl who did nothing but yell at you and insult your talents. Even when I thought it was hopeless, when I'd given up on myself. You never stopped believing in me, even though I'd never given you a reason to. And you…you saved me. Arigato gozaimasu Yukihira Soma." said Erina lowly.

He had, hadn't he? He hadn't done it alone, by any stretch of the imagination, but he'd been the one leading the charge each and every time. He'd risked more and done more, freely. And he'd do so again, if it meant keeping her safe. He gripped her hands with his own, where they sat over his stomach.

"You saved me from my father. You saved me from myself, from being the scared little girl that sat at his side. And while I don't know when exactly it started happening, I know that it was soon after that I started falling for you."

What?

Soma froze.

He couldn't think. He couldn't breathe.

There was no way he'd heard what he thought he'd heard right? She must have said something else. There was no way she could've said she'd started falling for him. It was impossible. She'd said it herself. She would only pick the most worthy of partners to stand at her side.

This woman was set to be the veritable master of the cooking world once they graduated in a few short months. She was a noble; someone of such high standing and birth that she was an aristocrat in all but name. She deserved better; she'd made it clear she did. She'd as good as said as much to his face!

"I didn't really know what I was feeling. Not for a long time, anyway. I just found that I couldn't stand being around you. You made me feel so…strange. But I couldn't stand being away from you either. I'd make up the dumbest excuses to come by and see if I'd catch a glimpse of you in the halls or in the kitchen. I must've borrowed almost all of Yuki-chan's collection by the time I realized that I was head over heels for you."

So that's why. He hadn't been just imagining things. She actually had been showing up at Polar Star more and more and she had been specifically avoiding him because she was embarrassed and confused; much like he'd been. It hadn't been because she was disinterested.

"After that, I tried my best to stay away from you. I didn't want to feel this way. I didn't want to…to…"

Sōma knew. He knew instantly what words Erina was struggling to say.

"Be in love with me." Soma finished, breaking his promise to stay silent. Erina didn't scold him for his violation, she merely nodded, the motion pronounced against his back.

"Why?" he asked, gripping the hand he held. The undercurrent of anger, of _pain_ , in his voice went almost unnoticed.

"Yukihira-kun…please, you promised to-"

Sōma didn't give a damn what he'd promised. He felt the familiar cocktail, the bitter anger and accompanying pain and he spoke, harshly cutting her off.

"I know what I said, Nakiri."

He pulled at her hands, turning around faster than she could've anticipated until they were facing each other. He gripped her shoulders and leaned in, their noses almost touching, and he finally let his mask drop; he let his façade fade away and he knew every single thing he was feeling was displayed in his eyes and visible to her own amethyst ones.

She saw his anger, the heat almost tangible beneath his skin. She saw his pain, the deep pain that cut him like no real knife could. She saw the sadness there too; the sense of inadequacy and defeat that had been slowly growing inside of him for months with no end in sight.

She saw it all.

"Was it because I was a commoner?" he asked, his words biting. "A simple diner chef not fit for someone as high class as you?"

Erina blinked, surprised. She seemed taken aback by Sōma's sudden shift in demeanour but he didn't falter in the face of it. He simply waited, expecting an answer to his question.

"Yukihira-kun…It's wasn't that. I just-"

"Don't lie to me." He snapped, cutting her off again, his voice sharp and raw, edged in pain. The anger on his face was the kind that could only come from suffering borne of love. It was a righteous, passionate anger that burned all the hotter for the fact that, underneath it, lied pain and heartache.

Erina didn't respond. She simply continued staring, stunned into Sōma's face. He couldn't imagine what his face must have looked like just then but he found that he didn't even care. He continued speaking, the feelings in his heart finally finding their outlet as he spoke his fears into existence before the very person that could use them to destroy him.

"You couldn't stand the thought of actually caring about someone so far beneath your station, could you? Even after what we went through, what I did for you, all you could see was your own pretty little mansion with your butlers and private cars. There wasn't any room for me in your little perfect bubble."

He was resentful; furious. He waited, impatient for her response. He just needed her to say it. He just needed her to confirm his words; make his darkest fears a reality instead of the bitter certainty they'd been all year. He needed to hear it from her own mouth. The denial of his feelings; confirmation that there would never be anything between them. He didn't care how she said it; he just needed her to say it.

Give him relief from the pain of not knowing. Of wondering what may be and what could be. Destroy him with but a few flicks of a heavenly tongue.

Say it. Say the words.

Say.

It.

"You're wrong, Yukihira-kun."

The words he got were not the words he was expecting. By a long shot. They hit him like an almost physical force and he released her shoulders, stepping back and staring down into the eyes of Totsuki's Empress. Their purple gaze was hypnotizing, and he found that he couldn't look away from them, no matter how he tried. He felt his anger drain away as swiftly as it had come about in the first place to be replaced by the love that was always there, just beneath the surface.

"You think I didn't want to love you because you weren't worthy of me. But the truth is that I didn't want to love you because I didn't deserve to."

Soma's jaw dropped and he found himself completely and utterly stunned. She didn't deserve to love him? The very idea was ludicrous. An impossibility. How could she think something so outlandish; something so ridiculous; something so just plain wrong!

Erina stepped forward, reaching her hands up to cradle his face. She ran her fingers over the sides of his profile, smoothing his hair back and out of his eyes. Sōma hardly dared to breathe; the trails her fingers left on his face felt hot and alive; he was surprised sparks weren't visible in the air around them.

"You stopped being a common diner chef to me a long time ago Soma-kun. If there was anyone worthy of me in this world, it would be you. But who was I to ask you to love me? The girl you'd had to save from her own father, the girl who treated you like dirt and laughed at the thought of you getting expelled? I didn't deserve your love. I still don't."

Of course you do, Erina. You deserve that and more. You deserve so much more than my love; you should know that.

She cupped his face, bringing hers even closer to it, and Sōma stared into those spheres of deepest amethyst that Erina called eyes. For the first time in what seemed like months, he looked at Erina. He didn't shy away or allow his emotions to cloud his vision. He simply looked at her. And he saw.

Her eyes were completely open and vulnerable, allowing him to see what truly lay behind them. He saw the depths of her feelings for him; the sheer sincerity, the almost childlike possessiveness, the selfless compassion, the warm affection.

And the love. So much love. All directed at him.

"I think some part of me hoped that things would change one day. That I'd accomplish something that would make you recognize me, something that would give me the freedom to tell you how I felt without feeling as if I was flying too close to the sun. But that never happened and tonight…"

Sōma heard her gasp and he almost flinched away from her, the guilt washing over him in full force as he understood just how he must've hurt her. It didn't matter that he hadn't known; that he couldn't have known. He'd hurt her.

"I saw you with Sakaki-chan. And I just…I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. Like someone had taken my heart, pulled it from my chest and locked it back into that lonely little cage. I felt like you were well and truly out of my reach forever. I probably would've burst into tears on the spot if Megumi-chan hadn't been so quick to explain to me just what kind of relationship the two of you had. And, after speaking with her, I realized that even if that was the case tonight, who could say what would happen tomorrow? Maybe you'd find feelings for Sakaki-chan, or for some other girl that wasn't…that wasn't me."

Tadokoro. He owed her a thousand and one thank you cards. And the biggest damn cake he could make.

Erina brought her face further towards him, their noses now barely grazing one other, the tip of her nose leaving a muted trail of fire alongside his own. As she spoke, Soma could feel her warm breath glazing over his lips and he resisted the urge to move forward. This was her moment. He refused to ruin that for her.

"So I decided that enough was enough. That even if I didn't deserve to, I would ask you. I would tell you how I felt and I would ask you for your love in return."

Yes. Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes. With each and every word Erina spoke, Sōma felt the shackles he'd forced upon himself break and fade away. Every shred of insecurity and inadequacy and fear and shame and self-loathing vanished in Erina's light, like fog at a new dawn and just as insubstantial. Sōma couldn't believe that what had been weighing on him for what seemed like forever had been vanquished so completely by a few simple, heartfelt words.

Erina closed her eyes, her arms reaching up and around Soma's neck. As she spoke her next words, her lips ghosted over his, the slight contact causing him to hitch his breath in anticipation.

"So…Yukihira-kun…Soma…what do you say?"

He went with simple honestly; a simple statement of fact.

"You can't ask me for something you already have, Erina."

His words were barely a whisper but the kiss he gave her was anything but quiet. He leaned in, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her towards him, their bodies fitting together as if they were made for each other. Sōma's tongue darted out, prodding gently at her lips and surging forward when she accepted its passage enthusiastically. His hand tangled in the hair covering her back and she felt him grip his own long, red locks in return.

The kiss was full of years of repressed tension and passion. It was fire and electricity and warmth. Sōma felt as if he was flying; as if he were soaring and banking on an endless thermal, never to touch the earth again. He felt the love in his heart sing; no weaker for the months he'd spent forcing it down at every turn. If anything, it was stronger for it and it let him know as it filled him from head to toe.

He felt her legs start to buckle and he adjusted his grip, taking an even firmer grasp of her waist as they broke their kiss, staring deeply into each other's eyes. Heated amethyst met molten gold.

"Erina…" he said, tasting the name on his tongue. He liked the way it felt. He'd never call her Nakiri again.

"Soma…" she said in response and the look she gave Sōma made a familiar fire light in his stomach. He grinned roguishly, desire in his eyes and leaned towards her only for Erina to gasp and put her hands on his chest, weakly pushing back at him. He allowed her to, gently releasing her from his grip as they took a half step back, panting, cheeks equally flushed.

Erina spoke up, a hesitant stammer in her tone.

"We…we can't do this, Soma-kun!" she said, her eyes looking anywhere but at him.

Just a few short moments ago, such a reaction would've left Sōma reeling, wondering if she was having second thoughts or doubting herself. But he knew where he stood with her now. He was sure of his place and so he responded honestly and openly, as only the real Yukihira Sōma really could. He was back.

"I have firm evidence to the contrary, Erina-chan." He countered, his eyes roaming over her flushed figure in a way that, according to Ryoko, made him look "aggressively sexy". The small, soft gasp she released in response was all the confirmation Sōma needed that Ryoko had been right.

"No. Not…I mean…just let me focus for a second! There's some things we need to clear up." she said. She stepped away, closing her eyes. She breathed in and out, visibly attempting to calm herself and Sōma watched her in bemusement, still revelling in the newfound sense of lightness in his chest and the warmth in his heart.

"Soma-kun. I love you. Deeply and truly. But I…I've never felt this way about anyone before or been in a situation like this so I don't really know how to say…that is, I would really appreciate it if you would…if you could just…" she said, trailing off.

He wasn't sure what exactly she was trying to say but he watched her face closely as emotions played across it and he had a sudden flash of insight; a hunch he was almost certain about.

"Let me guess. You'd like me to stop seeing Ryoko-chan?" he asked, not at all surprised when Erina nodded. She took a deep breath and began fiddling with her hands again, looking away from him nervously as she began to speak.

"I know that may be selfish of me to ask. Especially since I'm not…the most experienced in these sorts of matters. And I'm not exactly ready for things to go too quickly. And I really want this to work, but I'm scared you'll get sick of me since I don't know a thing about romance or dating or when it's a good time to invite you over versus when it's not, and I-"

Soma took her chin in his hand, cutting off her rant with a kiss. A kiss that he put his all into in an attempt to leave her speechless. She'd began to ramble and he didn't want her to think he was anything less than hers. All hers. For as long as she wanted him to be. Their lips parted and his arms snaked out to encircle her form. He pulled her into his chest and felt her bury her face into the dark fabric of his shirt as he began to speak.

"Erina-chan. It's fine. What Ryoko and I do…did…was something we did for fun. We agreed from the start that if either of us found someone that we wanted to get involved with, we would stop outright. And I'm sure she would approve of my current choice." He added cheekily, running his hand through her hair. He knew she would; she'd jump for joy when he told her what had happened. She'd probably have more than one "I told you so" to bestow upon him as well. He'd take them all gladly.

"Alright then. Good." said Erina, a touch of petulant possessiveness in her voice. The tone made Sōma grin and he spoke again, prodding at the girl

"But then, does that mean you're willing to take her place?" Soma teased, leaning in to nip at the girl's ear. Erina squeaked and batted at the boy's face, eliciting a laugh from him.

"Soma-kun! That's…it's much too soon!" she snapped.

Of course it was. He'd only been kidding. He didn't truly expect anything of her that she wasn't willing to give. He'd wait for as long as she needed him to. He knew the girl wasn't very experienced and was more than willing to take things at a snail's pace, if needed.

So it made it that much more surprising when he saw Erina reach up to loosen her tie with shaking fingers. She refused to meet his eyes and her blush had grown even brighter, if that was even possible.

"Actually...if it's Soma-kun, then it's alright…" mumbled Erina. The insecure, bumbling statement made Sōma smile and he reached out, taking the hand that was at her tie in his own. He smiled down at the girl, who seemed confused by his sudden action.

"I can assure you, Erina-chan. Despite my earlier enthusiasm, we're not sleeping together."

As Erina's eyes grew wide and her face began to fall, Sōma realized what he'd said and swiftly corrected his statement.

"At least not tonight. I'm not rushing anything with you. We've both waited over two years for this. If we're going to do this, we're going to do it right." he said with confidence. They would get there; he was sure they would.

Erina looked up at him and she smiled. Her eyes closed with the force of it and the honest joy on her face set Sōma's heart alight. The affectionate peck she landed on his cheek caught him off guard and he blushed, grinning back at her when she giggled in response.

Erina leaned in, bringing her head to rest on his chest, directly over his heart. He could feel her pressed against him, her own heartbeat pulsing alongside his own as he held her tightly against him. He felt her grip him even tighter, in response. The sensation of her heartbeat was even stronger as a result, almost audible.

Thump…Thump…Thump…

It may have just been his imagination, but he would've sworn that it was beating on time with his.

And thus, they started dating. Eventually, after a few weeks, Erina had asked Sōma why he had been so certain that she couldn't like him. Sōma had been upfront and honest about his feelings and it had pained Erina to know that he'd spent so much of the year in pain because of what amounted to an ultimately incorrect assumption.

Sōma cited the conversation he'd had with her about Alice's boyfriend, about how she was associating with someone beneath her and that she needed someone worth of her.

That was when Erina succinctly informed Sōma that Alice had a notoriously bad taste in men and their grandfather had given Erina the job of protecting Alice, and their family, from her terrible decision making skills.

She didn't really care who her cousin dated, as long as he was good to her and seemed genuine; it was the reason she hadn't protested to Alice's ongoing relationship with Kenichi, their underclassman. But she made it clear to Sōma. No one was dating her cousin without her explicit approval. Any that tried risked bringing the full weight of the massive Nakiri Empire down on their heads and she made sure every boy that so much as looked at Alice knew it.

"Is that really necessary, Erina? Don't you think you and Senzaemon-sama are overreacting just a bit?"

"Alice has had six different boyfriends since the age of sixteen. Two are high school drop outs, two are in jail, one turned out to be married and the other one is a high ranking member of the Yakuza."

"….wait, WHAT?!"

* * *

 **A/N: And scene! Hi there everyone; I know it's been a long time since I've posted anything and so I decided to whip this up, since so many people seemed to enjoy the first chapter. Even this chapter isn't really a continuation; it's more of a POV switch of the first chapter. As it stands, there are no plans for a third chapter. And holy cow; this chapter was huge! Almost twice as long as chapter one!**

 **As you saw here, it's extremely easy to misunderstand and misinterpret people's actions. Miscommunication is a big killer in relationships, even well-established ones like marriages that have been ongoing for years. Here we see Erina's shyness to associate with Sōma being completely misinterpreted as disinterest by Sōma. We also see how his own personal fears (because we all have them, even unstoppable shonen protagonists) slowly ate away at who he was and caused him to jump to all the wrong conclusions time and again. He'd convinced himself that Erina could never want him and so he saw every subsequent interaction they had through that defeatist lens. In fact, I doubt Sōma would've ever spoken to her if she hadn't made the first move like she did here. He'd already done too good a job at convincing himself she would never love him.**

 **And so we're left with the end result of almost a full year of self loathing, unrequited love and insecurity. An angst ridden, insecure Soma that's a far cry from the Soma we know from canon, even as he pretends he hasn't changed to everyone around him. While I didn't really show them; I hope you'd trust our main cast enough to know that they're not completely oblivious either. But, as far as Soma's aware, everyone's buying his act barring Ryoko.**

 **Anyway, hope you guys liked it. R and R and all that. This was a pretty fun fic and a welcome voyage on the Sorina ship. At least for me. See ya!**


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